


My breath hitches, my skin itches and I'm filled with stitches

by henclajeb



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Cutting, Eczema, Mental Instability, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:00:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25023574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/henclajeb/pseuds/henclajeb
Summary: I can’t even breath properly, it sits on my chest and prevents me from breathing.I hate it, it slowly crawls up my thighs, and it reaches the cuts on my inner thighs.
Kudos: 7





	My breath hitches, my skin itches and I'm filled with stitches

**Author's Note:**

> Slight AkaKen I guess  
> Slight cussing, proceed with caution

No thoughts, head empty and little, shaking breaths. I can’t even breath properly. Fucking anxiety kills my nerves, it sits on my chest and prevents me from breathing like it’s something bad I’m doing. And another night filled with overthinking, no sleeping. Laying in bed while thinking about what happened the last day and wondering about whatever things I’ve done wrong. And the list just lengthened and lengthened until I couldn’t even recall the beginning of it. Kuroo is sleeping, and I’m tired of bothering him with my unsolved problems with my family. So I just keep it inside. A cut, then I just sew it. A stitch. And one follows another. No, I don’t cut myself, not on the outside. That would be a sign of weakness. So I cut myself internally. I cut myself off, I cut my train of thoughts and I cut my mind. So on the inside I’m filled with stitches. 

I hate eczema. It slowly crawls up my thighs, and it reaches the cuts on my inner thighs. I made sure that no one notices them, so I only do it twice a week and on the same spot. But eczema makes it harder, because my skin always itches, and I can’t even do anything about it. Yeah, right, there are creams that could help, but then I have to show my thighs and that would be humiliating. The looks of disgust and fear of me (because I like spiders?). I can’t understand why I’m doing this. I am disgusting. But there is that one person who never thinks I’m disgusting even if I talk to him about THOSE things. I’ll text Kozume-san. I’m emotionally scared and scarred. And those stitches won’t go away that easily. 

Ping. A message? Is Kuroo awake yet? I check my phone and see that Akaashi texted me. Right, we became depression-dudes after training camp where I saw his cuts. So I write back. As long as you have someone to help it may not be so bad. But we still need help.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> And please, if you are a constant reader, leave a comment of what you wanna read.  
> I don't write mainstream ships, only rarepairs, and I can't do anything but angst in this style. I don't write anything with Asahi and/or Ushijima, nor Hinata x Karasuno 1st years (except Yams). On my Twitter, you can get the full list of ships I DON'T write (@ih4v3anx1ety). You can request in the comments or on Twitter, with a situation and a ship, and kudos are always appreciated!  
> Thank you so much! <3


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